I don't know how people who don't believe in God get through these times. I could be angry at God that I have to go through this. I have lived long enough to have learned that we live in a fallen world. A world where the old body wears out. The enemy of my soul and my God is the one who, robs, steals, Kills and destroys, my God is love mercy grace and healing. We all know some healing takes longer than others. I am grateful to have a leg. I am grateful I can feel it. I have a a couple of friends who have been in accidents and broke their spines .They can't feel them. They go to therapy but in reality they are seeing their legs wither away. They have stayed strong in their relationships to God. I think God must have a special reward in heaven for the overcomer who will not be totally discouraged in their tests and trial. One of the dear saints said "thou He slay me I will trust Him"
I have learned so much more about myself and God during my timeout. I am not as good at processing pain as I thought. I have had to slow down my style a lot . I love to be busy and accomplish things. Being housebound I miss my fellow humans a lot. I even miss the people who annoy me. It is very difficult on meds to focus on doing a project, so I do more talking to God. It may be the up side to this whole experience
I also listened to my backlog of saved youtubes. I think God really wanted me to take the time to hear these sermons and talks. I heard good stuff concerning God in very new ways. I will unpack them in future writings . I am going to have to listen again in order for me to comprehend it.
I don't ever want to regurgitate a message to anyone. I don't feel that is honest nor do i belive i would give what God is forming in me to help any one. I try to get it in me and test it in my life, then I have a testimony and not someone else's.
Good night peeps going to give this sleep thing another go