I am still working this out . I do know the enemy has planned attacks on me to hamper my relationship with God. I have a free will choice to co-operate with Him or not. I have the power of the truth of God to bring down the enemies attack.
I have realized the test of my faith in God comes when trouble hits. Do I still believe God is good? If i do I can stand confident that He will see me through. I don't need to be angry or frustrated, throw things ,or have a breakdown , or want to quit life over my issues. Most things the enemy has messed up God has given me better in return. He has also assured me that whatever I find I am lacking on earth I will have in unimaginable bounty when I get to heaven.
God does not use people. I am in a relationship with Him and He has planned many activities and adventures for us to do together. I absolutely don't want to do any of them without Him. With Him I can slay giants and move mountains
that stand in our way.
It is way past time for us to stop addressing God as a religion and start the Father and child relationship that brings the abundant victorious life.